Merry Christmas to All!

Christmas means different things to each one of us.  For some it is a heartfelt reminder of someone or something we have lost, to others it is the joy that only Christmas can bring and still to others it is simply another day filled with the marketing pizzaz of corporate america ensuring we continue to work for things.

Where are you along this varied pendulum?

I imagine the place one finds themselves is largely based on their experiences surrounding the Christmas holiday season.  If you have fond experiences/memories of this time then most likely you continue to fill this way and vice-versa.  For the faith community Christmas holds a special meaning aside from all of this.  It is the time when the birth of Christ is celebrated.  Although it is widely debated whether (or not) Christ was born during this time frame, it is largely accepted that this is the time to celebrate such an event.

Within my family we cover the entire spectrum of emotions.  We do our best to not let our emotions lead and try to ensure that we take the time to re-connect with each other over a good meal and laugh.  The corporate machine does indeed reach into our wallets but we have done our best to minimize this focus and instead point our children/teens/young adults to the spirit of family and community.  This is not to say that family drama has not rained havoc on our holidays at times - for it has!

For the faith community (which we are apart of), this is the very point of Christ's birth - FORGIVENESS!  We have learned to forgive some things and are still working on others.  We are having some of the difficult conversations so we can unplug the dam of resentment and allow love to freely flow.  The holiday season can be a good time for difficult conversations due to many being in a relaxed/good mood.

How will you spend your Christmas?  Will you seek to forgive, remove resentment or simply trod along as usual?

Merry Christmas to ALL!

Blessings,
-d

Romans 15:13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Why am I so Angry?

Anger is a normal emotion when hurt, but the root of bitterness is a different beast all together.  It moves in and begins to callous your heart over so that the joy(s) you once felt are no longer, instead all you can focus on is the hurt, anger, disgust, etc... Many say they forgive only to leave the mold of resentment left to grow in that dark moist place called hurt.  The longer you stay in this place, the more the resentment grows until you are no longer the person you once were.

Hebrews 12:15 tells us that Bitterness not only troubles us but creeps out and begins to corrupt others.You become closed off to any true joy and instead live life on a very short leash believing that someone lies ahead waiting to crush your innards again.  Yes, you may run into someone who causes you pain again, but what about all of those you interact with who have no intentions of causing you pain. This is true for those of us who are still in a relationship with the person who caused our initial trauma. I have mentioned many times that we often need to place healthy boundaries around some of our relationships.

A healthy boundary is not cutting the entire world off (except your children). This is an extreme that only succeeds in causing you more pain because the wound can never heal. Step one is to recognize & admit you are harboring resentment.  This just may be the reason for your anger.

Life has much to offer, including the trials that help us grow, will you remove resentment, go out and begin to enjoy the gift of life?

Ephesians 4:31-32 - 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.  32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Blessings,
-d

Let's Kick It!

In preparation for a marriage weekend getaway, my wife and I found ourselves in a bit if a tense environment, created by us of course.

We attended a couples retreat at Pismo beach with a group we only had some familiarity with.  Clearly there were some reservations as this was our first time out with this group and our 'built in' security blanket (our brother and sister) was not attending.

Once we got there and found a nice resort, room with an ocean view, much of the concern faded away. It helped that both of us were tired from the mental and physical toll of the trip & argument we had that we simply smiled said I love you and settled in for the weekend.

The weekend was full of tips and tools for how to make our marriage stronger, better and more fulfilling inspite of the trials we face along the way.  The following are a few tips the seminar shared:

• Establish a better individual relationship with God
• This in turn will better your spousal relationship
• Know yourself (i.e. what your triggers are)
• Keep communication lines open by creating a safe place
• Keep the right spirit (don't major in minors)
• Remember to Kick it (have fun)

As you grow in your relationship remember these and other principals you learn along your journey.  Just make sure you apply them because if you don't all the learning in the world will not help if there is no application.

When was the last time that you kicked it with your spouse?  Now is just a good a time as any!

Blessings,

-d

Gen 2:23-24 

And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Vices to Victory

While this week was not a particularly bad week, it was a reflective week for me and when a work colleague told me about this young man - Matt Schuler (he heard him sing on "the voice") and I came across this song, I thought this song described some of my reflective thoughts…

I hope this song inspires you as well,

Blessings,
-d

You Don't Matter!

Earlier this week as I rode BART I could not help but notice the interactions between a husband and wife.  Her eyes would look over at him every 3 minutes or so with longing eyes for him to simply reach out, hold her hand or look at her.

But as we men often do, he would not respond/affirm her presence in any way. Instead he simply chose to sit with his hands crossed acting as if she did not exist.

Were they in an argument - maybe. I do my best to not assume I know what is going on in some one else's house. I have a hard enough time keeping up with what's going on in mine.  None the less, it was clear that she sought a form of interaction and he did not (or did he?).

Maybe he was using silence as a weapon as couples often do to each other.  I have come to learn, that weapon only makes things worse if it continues for too long.  This (in my opinion) helps to feed the 'you don't matter' syndrome.  When most times nothing could be further from the truth.

When I have used this weapon it was because I was hurt, wanted attention and also wanted to hurt my wife as well.  HOW SILLY IS THAT!  Her I tell her I love her and on the other hand communicate that she does not matter. No wonder we have soo many therapists (this combined with how our parents screw us up)! Just for the record, I am not against therapy and have frequented the chase/couch/chair on multiple occasions.

The point is, if we were more loving/kind, communicated in a loving way, was open to constructive feedback and was true to our feelings - I would like to think that we would need fewer therapists (and lawyers).  Clearly there are times when we need to have what I call the, "difficult but necessary conversations".  Even during these conversations, we should not be communicating to our spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend that they do not matter. I hope that couple was able to work out whatever it was between them in a loving manner.  For love truly is a gift and we should unwrap it with caution and cherish it as if it were the best gift ever.

When you are upset, what do you communicate - love, concern or emptiness…  


Proverbs 3:3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. (NIV)

Blessings,
-d

What are Seeds of Life?

Tonight was a great night!  My sons and I (the dog too) took a walk so we could shoot the breeze and catch up on the latest events.  My youngest son (the energetic one) started off excited by his Q1 report card (As & Bs - THANK YOU LORD!) did not waste any time asking when he might be getting a cell phone.  Hmmm, who promised that?

My oldest son (confidently awaiting his report card) began as he usually does, with the latest on the opposite gender front - girls, girls, girls.  He did slide some other interesting things in during our conversation, he is good at this.

One was an analogy between a human life and that of an oak tree.  As I listened to him detail some of the similarities and stages of maturity, I figured - let's research/write about that.  In my search, I ran across the following overview for the life cycle of the oak tree which I found here.

"As is the case with all trees, the mighty oak begins as a tiny seed. In order for the tree to grow and the life cycle to complete itself, the oak requires sufficient space, water to carry root-borne nutrients from suitably fertile soil and adequate sunlight to trigger the life-sustaining process of photosynthesis. Insect infestation, disease, scavenging animals and adverse weather conditions can prematurely end the life cycle at any stage..." 

As I reflected on what he said, I too was struck at some of the similarities with humans for needing nutrients, water, space, sunlight, care etc…  If we have these ingredients, we too thrive.  If not, we too can have our lives prematurely ended (not only in the physical sense).  You see, we get out what we put in.  Whether it is to our children, spouse, family, friends and dare I say ourselves.  

While I am often amazed at some of the things that come out of my boys mouth's, I am grateful that their foundation to date appears to be solid.  I guess my wife and I are doing an ok job at raising them and providing them with space, water & sunlight.  At times the space aspect is more of a challenge when raising a tweener and teenager.

How are you nurturing your seeds of life?  Choices are powerful, choose right - choose LIFE!


Matt 13:37-39 - 37 He answered and said to them: “He who sows the good seed is the Son of Man. 38 The field is the world, the good seeds are the sons of the kingdom, but the tares are the sons of the wicked one. 39 The enemy who sowed them is the devil, the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are the angels. <NKJV>

Blessings,
-d

The Walking Dead

Do you ever feel like you are running as fast as you can on the outside but are dying on the inside?  Life has soo many twists, turns & distractions that keep us chasing after the ever elusive carrot.  But in the stillness of the night when all have fallen asleep and you continue to wrestle with worries and the emptiness you feel - what do you do?

Most of us wake up exhausted looking for our favorite caffeinated/taurine/B12/energy based drink.  Only to jump back on the treadmill of life and repeat the same cycle!  Is this truly living or are we simply following what others say we should be doing?  By doing this, we are working to enlarge someone else's pocket as we consume and pour our lives out to give the impression that we have 'arrived'.  So many give of themselves until they have nothing left to give and then look back and feel nothing but regret.

How many of us are truly fulfilled by what we do and the conversations we have day in and day out?  While there are some who have found their calling/passion and are enjoying that journey, many have assigned themselves to the pursuit of things.  Allowing fear to plot the path with which we take and remaining only slightly connected to those who love, cherish and enrich us.

Is there something wrong with wanting a good living/life - ABSOLUTELY NOT!  It is not a matter of having or making money, it is (in my opinion) a matter of how you fill the time with which God has given you on this amazing planet.  Please don't mistake this post as an accusation of spending your time improperly.  Instead see it as encouragement to re-evaluate how you spend your time and make adjustments as necessary. 

So often I see couples, families and friends in environments where there is supposed to be human interaction(s) (i.e. dinner, parks, walks, etc...).  Instead I see human smartphone/tablet interactions with an eerie stillness floating around.  In many ways technology is making us less connected (on a personal level) to the point we run out of things to say to one another.  Is it because we feel more comfortable typing it on a screen/keyboard versus saying it in person?  Maybe, just maybe we are not trusting each other with our feelings because we do not feel safe but in a twisted way we feel more comfortable saying these things in a forum where it can be electronically broadcasted to millions - go figure...?

I challenge us all to re-evaluate what we spend our time doing and on our human connections.  Strengthen/repair those that need it, lessen those that should take up less time, add healthy barriers to those that require it, create those you have always wanted to.  Will there be some uncomfortable times - absolutely.  This is part of the human experience, just act with integrity, fight the good fight and push on.  Because the memories you create and the alive feeling will be worth it!   

Remember, time is neutral but we choose how we fill it - so choose wisely. 

What will you choose/change?

Blessings,

-d

HELP!

While on a business trip to Philadelphia I was captured by the 125 anniversary issue of National Geographic.  It was a special issue dedicated to the photographs that had been captured/published via the magazine.

While perusing and enjoying the imagery there was a short article on conflicts that were happening throughout the world.  Within one of those articles there was a photo of children waiting with a teaspoon on a bowl of rice and beans.  When the bowl was passed by, the children would take their spoonful and pass it along to the next child.  Another article/image showed a young man carrying a goat, that had been killed by a toxic fire, to be cooked and eaten.  Not only was he placing himself in danger by scavenging (or should I say surviving) in the area.  He was adding to the danger by taking meat to eat.

Then I asked myself, what would I do?  The answer was easy - THE SAME THING HE WAS DOING!  The tipping point for me was when the caption read that an American woman and church friends had contacted the Geographic so they could pay for the young man to go to school.  Then the question for me became - do I have a responsibility to try and make the world a better place by trying to help someone in this type of situation?  As I sat, coasting 35,000 feet above the ground, contemplating my response to what I had just read, I was further moved to take action here in the USA.  While I recognize that there is a great need abroad, there too exists a great need right here in our backyard.

While I am not sure where to begin my search, I imagine once I place energy into it there will be more choices than I know what to do with.  Then I wonder how to prepare myself for all of the need that will most likely be uncovered once I begin to dig.  I have a few ideas of how to make this a sustainable project.  I think our business - His House Productions should take a percentage of sales and donate to a well vetted cause.

Soo many times the help that others need is very simple but we have to open ourselves and hearts to the blessings that are disguised as work.  Sometimes the work needed is an open ear, hug, meal, hand me down, etc...

I will keep you posted on the options/progress.  Maybe you too will be inspired to play the love forward (if you are already not doing so).  We all need help of some sort at various places in our lives - wouldn't you agree?

Quote the verse that says our response is for widows, children, etc...

Blessings,
-d

James 1:27 - "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."

Sensuality Gone Wild

Sensuality in and of itself is not a bad thing. God gave this to us when He made it so that we could procreate.  If this is the case, why is it such a bad word in so many Christian circles?  The answer (to me) is simple - US!  Like so many other things, the sin in us takes a beautiful thing and makes it ugly. 

Recently my youngest son and I went on a graffiti exploring mission.  He wanted to get up close to see some of the artistic graffiti expressions.  Because there is some graffiti near our house he and set off to find a way to get to it.  We ultimately found the way and saw some not so nice paintings along with some really nice paintings.  Along the way we would see where others had 'tagged' or written on someone else's work.

After a while, my son asked me why people had done such a thing (tagging).  I told him that I was not sure why each person had done it but I imagine some was due to jealousy, dislike, turf battles, etc...  He nodded as if he understood but I could see he still wondered why people would destroy someone else's beautiful work.  We finished our tour and discussed the ones we liked the most on the way home.

As I reflected on our many discussions I could not avoid the similarities of how we have 'tagged' one of God's beautiful pieces of art - sensuality.  When used in it's proper context, sensuality can be an amazing thing to share with a spouse.  Similar to the graffiti, Satan (with our help) has come a tagged this artwork so that you can see some of the beauty but it's true meaning is obscured by all of miscellaneous messages written across it.

Wouldn't it be great if it were as simple as I have illustrated here.  Maybe it can be if each of us takes the responsibility of illustrating what God's plan was between spouses and we allow this to be the examples that others see.  Not the messages of immediate gratification and no responsibility that the media continues to feed us.  Whether we want to agree or not, there is a price to be paid for sensuality that has gone wild and many of us can bear witness to what that cost is!  

Our senses are the gateway to our minds therefore, we should guard the avenues to our senses as we would our family - WITH VIGOR!

Blessings, -d

I Peter 3:1-3 & 7

Sometimes It's The Simple Things In Life That Pull Us Through!

Today was a firecracker type of day as I was off the last two days to celebrate my wife's B-day with an extended family hot air balloon ride.  I must admit that it was much more fun than I had originally imagined.

So in an effort to be relatively in the know as to what was going on at work, I took a 'peak' at e-mails last night and knew I was in for a challenging day.  Sure enough, it was just as I thought - Challenging!   So much so that I have to fly to the east coast in the next few days.

With all of this stress, all throught the day I looked at the photos (thanks smart phones) of the balloon ride and reflected on how relaxing it was.  The photos served as yet another reminder of what is truly important in life and how powerful LOVE & LAUGHTER is.  It seems so often we allow the simple yet important things to play background to the sometimes the more drama-full events that occupy our lives.

I of course understand that many events by their very nature will cause a heaviness which in turn occupies our focus.  But even with that does it mean that we can't share & enjoy a smile, laugh or hug? 

So after my hellish day, my sister & I got into a text exchange, yeah I know texting is on the decline, but we are at the age where the mantra of - if it ain't broke don't fix it really comes into play.  So we began texting about our sons activities and she informed me that it had taken her a bit of time to type/send me a text (less than 160 characters).  I responded to her in the following way: 

"You better use Siri next time...on second thought you are better off typing...LOL"

This silly text had us both laughing, me on the bus and her at home using the hunting/pecking method.  While this text was very simple, the laughter released endorphins which eased much of the stress we were both holding.

The point of this entry is simply to remind you to find the simple things in life to reflect upon when you are in your desert experiences.  I do my best to find things to make me laugh when I am stressed.

How do you handle stress?  Are you able to enjoy the simple things that happen in your everday life?

Proverbs 17:22 says "A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones."

Blessings,

-d

P.s. I do use Apple products - just not their phones :)

Just Be You!

During my transformation, I have found that I have to be me and that includes telling others "I'm Blessed" when they ask me how I'm doing - no matter the individuals role/title.  What is always amazing to me is the response I get from those two words, for the most part it leads to a longer conversation and I am able to eximplify kindness and love without preaching or coming off too holy.

For the longest, I struggled with how to show that I was a man of Faith without coming off 'holier than thou' and with the simple words "I'm Blessed", it conveys just that.

With this comes a responsibility for me to reflect a state of being Blessed irregardless of what my circumstances are. It is not unusual for people to tell me that they sought me out so they could hear words of encouragement.  Is it the words I say or the lifestyle I attempt to lead?

What they do not realize is that I am not (of my own strength) able to hold my head up always.  I too am human and fail as a representative of Christ. It is only through His Grace, Mercy & Forgiveness am I able to hold my head up in spite of the winds of strife that constantly blow.  I do make bad choices, I do say the wrong things at times, I do get a bad attitude, I do behave like a rascal!  When I find myself in the crevace of despair, it is His strength that encourages and lifts me up just enough to keep fighting the good fight.

As my transformation continues, I will do my best to reflect my faith in my daily walk, even  when I fall. Someone just might be encouraged as I encourage myself.

Blessings,
-d

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Relationships...Who Needs Them (Part 2)

(picking up from part 1) 

I think we have suffered through most everything.  Much of it because we were armed with the wrong tools.  So many have the early (sometimes unspoken) belief that relationships are all about sex and money.  While these have a role, relationships are soo much more complicated and if we spent an 1/6 of the time (working on our relationships) we do watching TV/Internet surfing I think our relationships (both platonic and romantic) would be soo much more fulfilling and we would not have to work through so much hurt and resentment.  

Take the time to read, watch videos and/or talk to older individuals about the type of person/relationship you want.  One of the biggest challenges I have found is - for me to become that which I seek, changing self is hard but worth it.

Before you get all sappy and depressed, I am sharing this info as a point to say all throughout life we are dealt unfair hands.  Regardless of how you feel about the hand you are dealt you have to play it the best you can and not become distracted by the perceived weaknesses of the hand.  

My wife & I celebrated 15 years of HARD EARNED marriage this year, we continue to deal with some of our choices but are learning to silence those crazy voices in our head and know that every emotionally charged discussion does not mean our relationship is over.  Nor does it mean that our marriage is bad because I can tell you that we have seen bad and are prayerfully on the other side never to go back. 

If you are in a challenging season of your relationship know that you are not alone and this is often a part of the experience of growing together.  Be committed and have the conversations you need to have in LOVE!  If my wife and I can do it, so can you (Feel free to ask us how in the comments section).  

Each one of us has to answer the question of whether or not relationships play an important role in our lives, so do you need relationships?

Blessings,

-d

I Corinthians 13:13 - And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Relationships... Who needs them (Part 1)

Relationships...I'm not sure there is a more complicated interaction on the planet.  For all of the highly technical folks, with Chemistry as my backdrop, I realize there are very complex/intricate reactions, connections, etc...  

Where I see the difference is, take all of those complex reactions and add an emotional element to it.  Can you say EXPLOSION, MELTDOWN and IMPLOSION all at the same time!  Amazing songs have been written, cars have been keyed, clothes and houses burned, suicides, murder and forget street fights, wars have been fought over what someone thought was a wronged, failed or failing relationship.

Armed with the World Wide Web (I know no one uses that name anymore) you would think that people would put more time into getting to know one another before they settled in for a long term commitment.  Because it seems with every failed relationship we get a little more jaded but still there is that draw that the vast majority of us can not control - the draw to be loved.

So many of us are armed with the messed up tools our parents handed down to us because of what their parents handed down and so on and so forth.  While it is soo hard to break a generational cycle, it is possible.  Take my wife and I who were married ~8 months into our relationship.  What the heck did we know other than how to get into trouble?

Here are the marriage examples we had, my father and I had a strained relationship growing up as he was trying to be "the man".  Once I had children I came to understand that my father was trying to catch up since his father died when he was about 12 and he had no one to lead him.  My mother was raised in a very abusive household and as a result married multiple times looking for someone to simply love her as her father should have to add insult to injury I believe she married once as a means of providing for my brother and I as she worked two jobs and went to school.

On my wife's side, she never had the opportunity to meet her father as he ran out when her mother was pregnant.  As a result, her mother handicapped her by trying to cover up this 'sin' and over-enabled my wife to a fault.

Armed with these tools, we went to war.  Little did we know, it was each other we would war with!  I thought she was crazy and she knew I was crazy, what we both came to find out was that we both had crazy and bludgeoned each other with that crazy.  So why did we hang in there you might ask, simple - for our kids!  If that is the only strand you have, then hold on to it and build off of that.  Get help (I have said this in numerous posts), fight and build on the strand that binds you.  If the abuse is physical and/or extreme emotional abuse, all the rules change and safety is a priority - still seek help, just maybe a different type.

What are the relationship tools that you are working with?

Blessings,

-d

P.s. Stay tuned for Part 2...

Celebrate Life!

Today was a GREAT day, it was my mother's birthday!  But not just any birthday, it was a milestone birthday, I am purposely not stating her age because I don't want to get in trouble :)

For mom's birthday, she chose to have all of us attend a "steppin" convention that was happening locally.  Steppin is a type of dance which I believe originated in Chicago.  It was alot of fun watching everyone dance in a drama free environment with smiles on their faces.  It's always nice to dress up, celebrate and have a good time with those you LOVE!

Watching my mother dance was great, if you recall back in December I posted a blog entry regarding a nuclear medicine appointment I went to with my mother because they feared she may have had cancer.  Long story short, at that point, my mother had lost 50 pounds and seen every type of doctor she could see, similar to the woman in Luke 8 who had spent all that she had.  The good news is that Jesus passed by and she was able to touch His garment and be made well!  I would like to testify that my mother too was able to touch the hem of His garment through prayer and supplication.  Today was proof that prayer works!

People and special events are worthy of being celebrated, just like when the wall of Jerusalem was finished being built (which was an accomplishment) there was a celebration as recorded in Nehemiah 12:27.

Life can be a roller coaster ride, remember to celebrate, capture and enjoy it when you can.  Happy Birthday mom - we love you!

Blessings,
-d

The Sweet Taste of Sin

SUGAR - why we can't resist it
(The title of the Aug 2013 cover article for the National Geographic magazine)

The title was a catchy one, and so I reached for the magazine in an effort to better understand why I sometimes crave a lil' taste of 1000 Grand, Almond Joy, Skor, Rolo, Reeses, Twix, Snickers, Payday (I could use one now - literally and figuratively), you get the point so let's move on.

As I began reading the article it was interesting to me how they not only provide background information on sugar but also provided a daily sugar intake limit - 6 teaspoons/100 calories for women and 9 teaspoons/150 calories for men.  As I continued to read I could not help but think of the similarities that sugar and sin have: great presentation, taste great going down, easy to access, bad for you, catches up to you later, addicting, documented history and effects, etc...

Many of us know the facts about both sin and sugar so why do we continue to behave in the same destructive way?  Is it because we do not like ourselves - maybe, is it we simply do not want to change, is it we do not realize we are addicted?

What ever the reason, both have and continue to contribute to our demise.  If it were that simple the majority of us would be in large part DRAMA FREE.  Maybe one way to begin to cut back on these culprits  is to actively seek to change our behavior one action at a time.  When we win these individual actions, we should celebrate those successes and continue to build on that.

The author of the article makes this statement, “It seems like every time I study an illness and trace a path to the first cause, I find my way back to sugar"

 

 

The article goes on to quote Richard Johnson, a nephrologist at the University of Colorado Denver, who sums up the conventional wisdom this way: Americans are fat because they eat too much and exercise too little. But they eat too much and exercise too little because they’re addicted to sugar, which not only makes them fatter but, after the initial sugar rush, also saps their energy, beaching them on the couch. “The reason you’re watching TV is not because TV is so good,” he said, “but because you have no energy to exercise, because you’re eating too much sugar.”  The solution? Stop eating so much sugar.





As for Sin, Romans 6 does a fantastic job in dealing with the struggle we have with sin.  Verses 12-14 state - ^12 "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. ¹³ And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. ¹⁴ For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace."

 

Chapter 6 concludes (verse 23) the following way - "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord"

 

While sugar affects the quality of our lives and aides in quickening the physical death, sin brings us a spiritual death that we have no way of escaping.  Oh, but the blood of Christ is the answer to sin and to begin you simply need to accept the gift of grace and know He loves you.  After that hold on to His unchanging hand knowing that life will throw you all manner of curve balls!

 

For both sin and sugar we have to pick up our crosses, die daily and be purposeful in our choices - WE CAN DO IT!  Do you believe it?

Quality Time - A Bit More Than I Asked For!

Each of us needs to be able to spend "Quality Time" with those we love and like, even if there is an insane amount of carnality.  A few weekends ago was one of those times for my family, mother and brother's family to able to spend time together in Las Vegas of all places!  

I think this will help to illustrate the point, while driving down Paradise road (which is not the strip but is connected to it) my wife let out a gasp...when I looked up I knew why.  Right next to us was a moving billboard with for the most part, naked women 'involved' with each other.  Both of us looked back to see if our 14 & 11 year old boys were looking in that direction - if they weren't, they were now after my wife's nice gasp.

Our 14 year old was visually mesmerized while our 11 year old was disgusted and intrigued at the same time.  While my wife and I realize we can not keep out all that the world has to offer, we are trying to limit the rate at which our boys gain exposure.  Although neither of us wanted this experience during this family quality time (what did we expect in Las Vegas!), it did provide the opportunity to continue our discussions on the birds, bees and all other flying things...  This is one of the great things about quality time, you have the TIME to have those discussions that you would not necessarily make time to have.

We were in Vegas for the annual AAU basketball tournament and the final game was a nail bitter where our son's team was down 15 points and was able to mount a come back to win by one point.  If that was not enough (I assure you it was) we (the adults) also got a chance to see the Cirque Du Soliel show O at the Bellagio.  What a GREAT show and time we had  uuhhhing and aahhing at what the performers were doing on that amazing stage.  

Creating memories is one of the hallmarks of spending quality time with those you love and like.  

How do you spend your quality time? 

Blessings,

-d

Don't Judge Me

Today as I was on my way home, a funny thought hit me, "I wonder what people first think when they see me?"

This thought was purely based on the fact that I was wearing a suit & bow tie, with Beats wireless headphones, wearing a swiss backpack and drinking Perrier sparkling water.

High Maintenance D. Hill or simply D. Hill

Why was this intriguing to me?  I think it was the bow tie & sparkling water that started it, which I don't like by the way (I prefer tap water actually).  The Perrier was the only thing in my office I could grab and dash with, nevermind it had been sitting in my office for over 5 months.

In my mind I could see others thinking of me as some high maintenance person, when in fact I am pretty much the opposite.  How many times do we see people in our daily lives, work places, churches, mosques and worship centers and immediately form a lasting opinion of them?

This is the very reason why God told Samuel in ISam 16:7 - 

“Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

During this time, Samuel was given the mission of going to anoint David the next king of Israel.  Before he went, God wanted to ensure that his judgement was not clouded by what man considers valuable.

While I will acknowledge that many times the way a person presents themselves can be indicative of who they are, it is not the case for all.  Sometimes people simply need resources, time or a mentor to guide them through the roads of life.

There are also times when our own insecurities get in the way of seeing the other individual(s) for who they are.  Ok, what the heck am I talking about?  I'm talking about that person you see and feel is more attractive than (or a close runner up), smarter, taller, thinner, stronger than yourself.  

Do you maintain the first opinions you form about an individual?  Or do you let their actions form these opinions?  What if someone made a mistake that hurt you, how do you react?

Blessings,

-d

G.O.S.P.E.L.

I watched this video and wanted to send this out as I think it does a GREAT job of illustrating the Gospel in a current language/medium.

Blessings,
-d

I Don't Love Myself

Throughout my life there have been so many times where I sabotaged myself along with the very things I was working soo hard to accomplish - at least that is what I told myself.  If that was the case, then why did I so often find myself 'coming up short'?

Tonight I had a discussion with my son regarding him giving up on the things he loves when things got hard.  We discussed various examples where he gave up on things he really enjoyed from musical instruments to sports.  I do realize that when young, children vacillate from one thing to another and this I accept.  However, I realized it was something deeper when I began to see his disappointment associated with his physical person/stature.

I myself recognized this trend for this is something that I too struggled with when I was young.  I did not love nor believe in myself and therefore when things went wrong it felt as if I was a direct failure and this would confirm my deep seeded feelings of being a failure.  

There was no quick fix to me getting over these feelings of inadequacy.  I figured the harder I worked at something the better off I would be and this was true in large part.  But when I did not measure up, I quickly reverted back to the 'woe is me' and 'I will never be...' thoughts/feelings.  It wasn't until I was an adult that I looked in the mirror and admitted that I did not love myself.  Once I opened the gate, I was able to go further and admit exactly what I did not love about myself.  When I did this, it allowed me the ability to come face to face with myself and decide if I wanted to work on the resolution or continue hiding my issues with works, things, people, etc..  

During the discussion with my son I shared some of my struggles with him and told him that while I believed in him, he too would have to believe in himself and give himself a chance.  Stop looking at all that is wrong and see the things that are right, because there are many things that are right.  I hugged and kissed him and ended by telling him that he is loved and valued because Christ paid the price, so stop comparing himself to others and using their standards to judge himself.  

We are all uniquely made to fulfill different purposes but the first order of business is to recognize your value and LOVE YOURSELF!  Do you love yourself?

Blessings,

-d

Prov 4:23 - Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Why Christ called a man Satan

At various times in our life we are confronted with challenges that cause us to behave as if we were Satan himself.  Often times there are good reasons (if only to us) for our behavior, whether someone was out of line and they needed to be 'told' or they hit a trigger of ours (i.e. stepped on our last good nerve).  What we should be mindful of is the impact that our behavior has/is having on those around us.  Our very behavior could be the reason why people stop attending church, are made to feel that they are not important, feel they have no safe place, think less of themselves, etc...

I have found myself having to climb the wall of doubt after someone's behavior made me feel less than.  One such time was when I was in a Algebra class and the teacher held my test up in front of the class and declared "you are too stupid to be in my class"!  I wanted to become the invisible man and walk out of the class never to return and be heard from again.

Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your position), my mother was a motivating force all her own and put the teacher, principal and myself on notice that such behavior would not be tolerated and she would indeed be back to check!  Long story short, I was able to come away from Algebra with a good grade but the damage had been done and I would not fully believe in myself for years to come because his words would  resonate in the back of my mind.

Maybe the teacher was trying to motivate me by using a different tactic, maybe the teacher was racist - imagine Utah in the 80's and me the only African American in the class, maybe the teacher simply had a bad day and knew I had potential.  What ever his reason, for a long time I would view him as an evil man.  

One act should not dictate what type of person(s) we are just like it did not with Peter.  Jesus did call him Satan (Matthew 16:23) but He also, a few versus earlier (Matt 16:18), said that Peter was the rock that He would build his church on.  Surely Christ would not build His church on Satan, He was merely letting Peter know that his behavior at that moment was reflective of Satan.

Who/what are your behavior(s) reflective of?

Blessings,

-d

What is faith to you?

What happens when our faith is tested in our daily lives, what is it that people see when we are tested?  Do they see the faith we talk about or do they see the oxymoron of what we say to that of what we do?

Faith as defined in Hebrews 11:1 as the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  There is soo much in these few words.  Let's start with substance, one definition of this is - physical mass/matter that occupies space.  Using this definition, our faith should 'occupy' space, this can mean soo many different things - space in our minds, in our being, in how we present ourselves in the world, etc...

Evidence is pretty straight forward, these are things helpful in forming a conclusion or the proof that something is.  Adding this to what we know about substance, my definition of the two joined together is, 'the physical proof that something does exist'. 

 Many times my response(s) to trials are not proof of my belief that God is able to handle/resolve any trial I find myself in.  Just maybe, my current response is serving as proof that my belief is indeed lacking - Lord, help my unbelief.

When your daily trials appear, are your responses the physical proof of your belief that God is and can handle any situation?

Blessings,
-d

The Blessing that Became a Curse

If you told me that the very thing I considered a blessing would (out of the same mouth) be reclassified as a curse, I would tell you to "go to the store with that" (i.e. get lost).

Unfortunately not only have I done this once but multiple times!  I was reminded of this over the weekend.  We were speaking about all of the blessings that God has bestowed upon us and how we were greatful for these things.  In the same conversation, some of those very things were now considered curses, trials, drama, etc... 

How can this be?  It is similar to what the children of Israel did when coming out of Egypt (Exodus 16:1-3). The moment trials presented themselves, most were self inflicted, they began to gripe and moan that they preferred to be slaves.  Wait, hold up, these same folks who were slaves were complaining about being free - the NERVE!

Soo many of us when jobless, homeless, relationship-less, spouseless, friendless, etc... Are soo excited that we scream blessings from the roof top and to whomever we come in contact with when our situation changes - to our likeness that is.  Oh, but when that thing we desired and obtained (the blessing remember) begins to involve WORK & long suffering we think of it as a Curse.

How one might ask?  Did the thing we soo desire change?  Did we get to the point to where we were no longer appreciative?  Or did we forget all of the blessings that had come our way?  Maybe none, all, or a combination of these (and other) things.  Either way the bottom line is, we loose the spirit of contentment and are left with those same ole carnal feelings of never being satisfied.

When the spirit of dissatisfaction sets in on the very thing you considered the ultimate blessing what is your response?

Blessings,
-d

Philippians 4:11-13 -  Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: ¹² I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. ¹³ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Advancing in Life

There are several times of the year that are filled with sheer joy and exuberance.  One of those times is the season of graduation/advancement.  

Many people are either graduating from one educational level to another or advancing from elementary or middle-school/Jr. High.  With these advancements come greater expectations and responsibilities.

This year my wife and I had the privilege of watching both of our sons & nephew advance, two from elementary and one from middle-school.  Just watching them walk across the stage with those big grins of accomplishment meant the world to us.  Wile there were many compliments and congratulations from other parents, very few knew the challenges that our children (and us) faced in getting to this place of advancement.

From the outside, it looked easy, beautiful and amazing.  But my wife and I along with family members knew the work required to get our sons to this place.  Were there things that we wished were different - sure, were there things that we would have handled differently - of course.  When all is said and done, some of the difficult times have helped to shape the character of our sons and teach us valuable lessons along the way.

This all made me reflect on my own personal journey.  I could not help but see the direct parallel with me advancing in life and my Christian walk with that of those advancing in academia.

There are many advancements I am proud of and a good deal of those that I am not soo proud of and wish I could have a "do-over".  Either way I have done my best to adjust and learn from my mistakes knowing that the expectations would be greater the next time I was faced with this situation.

Our spiritual walk is similar in that as our knowledge base increases so should our wisdom!  Be encouraged knowing that the challenges in your life has not stopped you from enjoying the advancement season(s) of your life and those around you.

James 1: 2-4  ² My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Blessings,

-d   

Relationship Rebound

I was speaking with an acquaintance recently and I noticed the way she maneuvered through the world had changed.  I know, it sounds crazy because I am trying to find a decent way of saying this...

She was now wearing clothing items that well...had less clothing (I think that does it).  First of all, this is not a sly (or direct) way of putting women down as I have had some male acquaintances do the same thing!  With that disclosure, on with the blog entry.  As I simply listened, she began to tell me about how her over 4 year relationship had ended and she was on her way (~7 weeks later) to a far away romantic city with a "catch of all catches"!

When I spoke with her after this wonderful trip I inquired how the trip was.  The look on her face said volumes and then she said it - he broke up with me after the trip was over!  I immediately felt sorry for her for I could feel the pain and her deep yearning for understanding.  While she was able to deduce what had just happened, it appeared she was not ready to accept some simple truths.

Truth 1 - she has value whether with someone or not
Truth 2 - she is loved
Truth 3 - she is worthy
Truth 4 - she is not less than
Truth 5 - she has a place to call home
Truth 6 - those voices she is hearing that says 1-5 are not true - are lies!
Truth 7 - she needs time to mourn/heal the loss of the first relationship

Soo many people quickly jump out of one relationship/marriage and into the next believing & hoping they will not have to endure the pain that comes with healing from a relationship wound.  My experience has taught me that it is during these healing times that we learn a great deal about ourselves. We should take the time to take inventory of areas we can improve so we do not carry these same issues into the next relationship (even if it is with the same person).

The funny thing about rebounding is, we often do the same thing in our relationship with God.  If we feel let down by Him, we seek out those old habits and look to them for our peace instead of trusting that He can handle what ever we throw at Him.

How do you handle relationship breakups?

Proverbs 16:25 - There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

2Timothy2:22  - Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Blessings,
-d

My World Is Caving In!

The words reverberated in my ears as they were spoken.  What did it all mean I quietly thought to myself, making sure on the outside I was composed and agreeable.

All the while internally I felt my blood pressure increase and my anxiety began to shatter speed and distance records in what seemed like the blink of an eye.  But WAIT WAIT, why am I trying to predict what is going to happen in  the future based on someone speaking some loosely joined words.  There was no denying that the words had impact & meaning.  But that does not mean that the next steps I invisioned were on the horizon because last I checked I had no crystal ball (that worked anyway) that had guided all of my decisions.  If I did have one (a crystal ball that worked) maybe I would have a few less 'scars' from my life choices.

My situation reminded me of when Elijah prayed for death and ultimately ran to a cave to hide from Jezebel. (I Kings 19)  Here Elijah's anxiety had gotten to him so much so that he figured the best plan was to run and hide for he was in a hostile environment - he was the sole remaining prophet (verse 10)!  But God had other plans for him, He wanted Elijah to go and anoint two kings and find his replacement  (Elisha).  While the Bible does not indicate how Elijah is feeling now, it does tell/show us that Elijah now has purpose and I would like to believe that this purpose removed much of the anxiety he felt.

So after talking myself off of the ledge (it felt like that), I found myself with a renewed purpose - continue to build on the things I have put in place.  This way if my predictions become a reality, I would have already created a alternate path.

So often we allow fear/anxiety to rule over us, stunt our growth and prohibit us from doing what God has planned.  My anxiety is gone, I am not only trusting in Him but adding works to my faith for,

¹⁴ What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? ¹⁵ If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, ¹⁶ and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? ¹⁷ Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. James 2:14-17

How do you handle your anxiety?  Are you allowing it to rule you or are you activating your faith/works and ruling over it?

I just realized I listed some techniques for dealing with anxiety here.

Blessings,
-d