I Don't Love Myself

Throughout my life there have been so many times where I sabotaged myself along with the very things I was working soo hard to accomplish - at least that is what I told myself.  If that was the case, then why did I so often find myself 'coming up short'?

Tonight I had a discussion with my son regarding him giving up on the things he loves when things got hard.  We discussed various examples where he gave up on things he really enjoyed from musical instruments to sports.  I do realize that when young, children vacillate from one thing to another and this I accept.  However, I realized it was something deeper when I began to see his disappointment associated with his physical person/stature.

I myself recognized this trend for this is something that I too struggled with when I was young.  I did not love nor believe in myself and therefore when things went wrong it felt as if I was a direct failure and this would confirm my deep seeded feelings of being a failure.  

There was no quick fix to me getting over these feelings of inadequacy.  I figured the harder I worked at something the better off I would be and this was true in large part.  But when I did not measure up, I quickly reverted back to the 'woe is me' and 'I will never be...' thoughts/feelings.  It wasn't until I was an adult that I looked in the mirror and admitted that I did not love myself.  Once I opened the gate, I was able to go further and admit exactly what I did not love about myself.  When I did this, it allowed me the ability to come face to face with myself and decide if I wanted to work on the resolution or continue hiding my issues with works, things, people, etc..  

During the discussion with my son I shared some of my struggles with him and told him that while I believed in him, he too would have to believe in himself and give himself a chance.  Stop looking at all that is wrong and see the things that are right, because there are many things that are right.  I hugged and kissed him and ended by telling him that he is loved and valued because Christ paid the price, so stop comparing himself to others and using their standards to judge himself.  

We are all uniquely made to fulfill different purposes but the first order of business is to recognize your value and LOVE YOURSELF!  Do you love yourself?

Blessings,

-d

Prov 4:23 - Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.