Sensuality Gone Wild

Sensuality in and of itself is not a bad thing. God gave this to us when He made it so that we could procreate.  If this is the case, why is it such a bad word in so many Christian circles?  The answer (to me) is simple - US!  Like so many other things, the sin in us takes a beautiful thing and makes it ugly. 

Recently my youngest son and I went on a graffiti exploring mission.  He wanted to get up close to see some of the artistic graffiti expressions.  Because there is some graffiti near our house he and set off to find a way to get to it.  We ultimately found the way and saw some not so nice paintings along with some really nice paintings.  Along the way we would see where others had 'tagged' or written on someone else's work.

After a while, my son asked me why people had done such a thing (tagging).  I told him that I was not sure why each person had done it but I imagine some was due to jealousy, dislike, turf battles, etc...  He nodded as if he understood but I could see he still wondered why people would destroy someone else's beautiful work.  We finished our tour and discussed the ones we liked the most on the way home.

As I reflected on our many discussions I could not avoid the similarities of how we have 'tagged' one of God's beautiful pieces of art - sensuality.  When used in it's proper context, sensuality can be an amazing thing to share with a spouse.  Similar to the graffiti, Satan (with our help) has come a tagged this artwork so that you can see some of the beauty but it's true meaning is obscured by all of miscellaneous messages written across it.

Wouldn't it be great if it were as simple as I have illustrated here.  Maybe it can be if each of us takes the responsibility of illustrating what God's plan was between spouses and we allow this to be the examples that others see.  Not the messages of immediate gratification and no responsibility that the media continues to feed us.  Whether we want to agree or not, there is a price to be paid for sensuality that has gone wild and many of us can bear witness to what that cost is!  

Our senses are the gateway to our minds therefore, we should guard the avenues to our senses as we would our family - WITH VIGOR!

Blessings, -d

I Peter 3:1-3 & 7

Sometimes It's The Simple Things In Life That Pull Us Through!

Today was a firecracker type of day as I was off the last two days to celebrate my wife's B-day with an extended family hot air balloon ride.  I must admit that it was much more fun than I had originally imagined.

So in an effort to be relatively in the know as to what was going on at work, I took a 'peak' at e-mails last night and knew I was in for a challenging day.  Sure enough, it was just as I thought - Challenging!   So much so that I have to fly to the east coast in the next few days.

With all of this stress, all throught the day I looked at the photos (thanks smart phones) of the balloon ride and reflected on how relaxing it was.  The photos served as yet another reminder of what is truly important in life and how powerful LOVE & LAUGHTER is.  It seems so often we allow the simple yet important things to play background to the sometimes the more drama-full events that occupy our lives.

I of course understand that many events by their very nature will cause a heaviness which in turn occupies our focus.  But even with that does it mean that we can't share & enjoy a smile, laugh or hug? 

So after my hellish day, my sister & I got into a text exchange, yeah I know texting is on the decline, but we are at the age where the mantra of - if it ain't broke don't fix it really comes into play.  So we began texting about our sons activities and she informed me that it had taken her a bit of time to type/send me a text (less than 160 characters).  I responded to her in the following way: 

"You better use Siri next time...on second thought you are better off typing...LOL"

This silly text had us both laughing, me on the bus and her at home using the hunting/pecking method.  While this text was very simple, the laughter released endorphins which eased much of the stress we were both holding.

The point of this entry is simply to remind you to find the simple things in life to reflect upon when you are in your desert experiences.  I do my best to find things to make me laugh when I am stressed.

How do you handle stress?  Are you able to enjoy the simple things that happen in your everday life?

Proverbs 17:22 says "A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones."

Blessings,

-d

P.s. I do use Apple products - just not their phones :)

Just Be You!

During my transformation, I have found that I have to be me and that includes telling others "I'm Blessed" when they ask me how I'm doing - no matter the individuals role/title.  What is always amazing to me is the response I get from those two words, for the most part it leads to a longer conversation and I am able to eximplify kindness and love without preaching or coming off too holy.

For the longest, I struggled with how to show that I was a man of Faith without coming off 'holier than thou' and with the simple words "I'm Blessed", it conveys just that.

With this comes a responsibility for me to reflect a state of being Blessed irregardless of what my circumstances are. It is not unusual for people to tell me that they sought me out so they could hear words of encouragement.  Is it the words I say or the lifestyle I attempt to lead?

What they do not realize is that I am not (of my own strength) able to hold my head up always.  I too am human and fail as a representative of Christ. It is only through His Grace, Mercy & Forgiveness am I able to hold my head up in spite of the winds of strife that constantly blow.  I do make bad choices, I do say the wrong things at times, I do get a bad attitude, I do behave like a rascal!  When I find myself in the crevace of despair, it is His strength that encourages and lifts me up just enough to keep fighting the good fight.

As my transformation continues, I will do my best to reflect my faith in my daily walk, even  when I fall. Someone just might be encouraged as I encourage myself.

Blessings,
-d

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Relationships...Who Needs Them (Part 2)

(picking up from part 1) 

I think we have suffered through most everything.  Much of it because we were armed with the wrong tools.  So many have the early (sometimes unspoken) belief that relationships are all about sex and money.  While these have a role, relationships are soo much more complicated and if we spent an 1/6 of the time (working on our relationships) we do watching TV/Internet surfing I think our relationships (both platonic and romantic) would be soo much more fulfilling and we would not have to work through so much hurt and resentment.  

Take the time to read, watch videos and/or talk to older individuals about the type of person/relationship you want.  One of the biggest challenges I have found is - for me to become that which I seek, changing self is hard but worth it.

Before you get all sappy and depressed, I am sharing this info as a point to say all throughout life we are dealt unfair hands.  Regardless of how you feel about the hand you are dealt you have to play it the best you can and not become distracted by the perceived weaknesses of the hand.  

My wife & I celebrated 15 years of HARD EARNED marriage this year, we continue to deal with some of our choices but are learning to silence those crazy voices in our head and know that every emotionally charged discussion does not mean our relationship is over.  Nor does it mean that our marriage is bad because I can tell you that we have seen bad and are prayerfully on the other side never to go back. 

If you are in a challenging season of your relationship know that you are not alone and this is often a part of the experience of growing together.  Be committed and have the conversations you need to have in LOVE!  If my wife and I can do it, so can you (Feel free to ask us how in the comments section).  

Each one of us has to answer the question of whether or not relationships play an important role in our lives, so do you need relationships?

Blessings,

-d

I Corinthians 13:13 - And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Relationships... Who needs them (Part 1)

Relationships...I'm not sure there is a more complicated interaction on the planet.  For all of the highly technical folks, with Chemistry as my backdrop, I realize there are very complex/intricate reactions, connections, etc...  

Where I see the difference is, take all of those complex reactions and add an emotional element to it.  Can you say EXPLOSION, MELTDOWN and IMPLOSION all at the same time!  Amazing songs have been written, cars have been keyed, clothes and houses burned, suicides, murder and forget street fights, wars have been fought over what someone thought was a wronged, failed or failing relationship.

Armed with the World Wide Web (I know no one uses that name anymore) you would think that people would put more time into getting to know one another before they settled in for a long term commitment.  Because it seems with every failed relationship we get a little more jaded but still there is that draw that the vast majority of us can not control - the draw to be loved.

So many of us are armed with the messed up tools our parents handed down to us because of what their parents handed down and so on and so forth.  While it is soo hard to break a generational cycle, it is possible.  Take my wife and I who were married ~8 months into our relationship.  What the heck did we know other than how to get into trouble?

Here are the marriage examples we had, my father and I had a strained relationship growing up as he was trying to be "the man".  Once I had children I came to understand that my father was trying to catch up since his father died when he was about 12 and he had no one to lead him.  My mother was raised in a very abusive household and as a result married multiple times looking for someone to simply love her as her father should have to add insult to injury I believe she married once as a means of providing for my brother and I as she worked two jobs and went to school.

On my wife's side, she never had the opportunity to meet her father as he ran out when her mother was pregnant.  As a result, her mother handicapped her by trying to cover up this 'sin' and over-enabled my wife to a fault.

Armed with these tools, we went to war.  Little did we know, it was each other we would war with!  I thought she was crazy and she knew I was crazy, what we both came to find out was that we both had crazy and bludgeoned each other with that crazy.  So why did we hang in there you might ask, simple - for our kids!  If that is the only strand you have, then hold on to it and build off of that.  Get help (I have said this in numerous posts), fight and build on the strand that binds you.  If the abuse is physical and/or extreme emotional abuse, all the rules change and safety is a priority - still seek help, just maybe a different type.

What are the relationship tools that you are working with?

Blessings,

-d

P.s. Stay tuned for Part 2...