But as we men often do, he would not respond/affirm her presence in any way. Instead he simply chose to sit with his hands crossed acting as if she did not exist.
Were they in an argument - maybe. I do my best to not assume I know what is going on in some one else's house. I have a hard enough time keeping up with what's going on in mine. None the less, it was clear that she sought a form of interaction and he did not (or did he?).
Maybe he was using silence as a weapon as couples often do to each other. I have come to learn, that weapon only makes things worse if it continues for too long. This (in my opinion) helps to feed the 'you don't matter' syndrome. When most times nothing could be further from the truth.
When I have used this weapon it was because I was hurt, wanted attention and also wanted to hurt my wife as well. HOW SILLY IS THAT! Her I tell her I love her and on the other hand communicate that she does not matter. No wonder we have soo many therapists (this combined with how our parents screw us up)! Just for the record, I am not against therapy and have frequented the chase/couch/chair on multiple occasions.
The point is, if we were more loving/kind, communicated in a loving way, was open to constructive feedback and was true to our feelings - I would like to think that we would need fewer therapists (and lawyers). Clearly there are times when we need to have what I call the, "difficult but necessary conversations". Even during these conversations, we should not be communicating to our spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend that they do not matter. I hope that couple was able to work out whatever it was between them in a loving manner. For love truly is a gift and we should unwrap it with caution and cherish it as if it were the best gift ever.
When you are upset, what do you communicate - love, concern or emptiness…
Proverbs 3:3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. (NIV)
Blessings,
-d
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