It's soo hard to say Goodbye

My Grandfather recently passed and as the family (me included) is in route to attend the funeral, I am left with tending to my many emotions running about. Based on the discussions I have heard thus far, some are reflecting on the good times, some are reflecting on the bad times, some are reflecting on the relationship they had (or did not have) with my grandfather, some are reflecting on the potential of an inheritance, some are simply reflecting, but all are mourning in their own way.

Emotions play themselves out in so many different ways, one can never tell what is going to happen at a funeral.  With so much emotional uncertainty, you begin to hear the pleas of, "can we have a drama free funeral?"  While these are genuine expressions, the challenge is that feelings are often irrational and therefore can't be controlled in the heat of the moment.

I have been so busy with traveling for work these past three weeks that it really has not set in for me just yet.  Just maybe I am one of the 'drama wildcards' which will erupt once the activities begin?  I do have some great memories of my grandfather, it was he who first gave me and my brother exposure outside of Utah.  He would bring us out to California for the summer and ask his wife (Irene) to cart us around and show us most of what Los Angeles had to offer.  Coming from Ogden, Utah - it had alot to offer and it is here that I begin to form ideas of what was possible - Thanks for that Grandpa!

Then there was the other grandpa who when filled with alcohol was tormented by his demons of the past and in turn often tormented those around him.  I was too young to decipher if it was the alcohol or simply a mean troll of a human hanging out inside of him.  As I got older, right or wrong, I came to the conclusion that it was a little bit of both.

When it is all said and done, this fact remains, I LOVED my grandfather.  He was the only grandfather I had, my other grandfather died when my father was a young boy.  There were those special times we had when he eat peanuts with me and my brother and talk about life, hard work, thinking for yourself, of course women - sorry Mom :) and the list goes on.

As this chapter closes, I can say without hesitation - I was BLESSED to have a grandfather to do just what grandfathers do - expose their grandchildren to life and help make sense of the wild and wacky things that adults do.

Good Bye Grandpa, I CHOOSE to remember the good times and will dearly miss you!

Romans 8:35 - 38: 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

A Moment of Insanity

Recently a colleague walked into my office and asked me for advice on what to do regarding their work predicament.  As I listened I came to the conclusion that one of the biggest issues they were having is they were not feeling appreciated or valued.

Based on my own interactions and readings this seems to be a pretty common feeling when review time rolls around - sometimes just in general.  As we continued to discuss where they were they begin to describe how they felt like they were going to explode inside, how they were second guessing themselves and generally felt like they were going crazy!

Once they got to a 'pausing' place, I told them a story that takes place in the summer heat of the south with an older gentlemen (Mr. Johnson) college student (Paul) and Mr. Johnson's dog (Mojo).  The cliff note version of the story is the following:

Paul stops by Mr. Johnson's (as he sits out on the porch) on a hot summer day and begins to chat as they sit on rocking chairs shooing the flies away.  Mr. Johnson asks Paul if he would like some fresh ice cold lemonade (sounds good now).  Paul accepts and Mr. Johnson gets up to go and get the lemonade.  During this entire time, Mojo had been lying in the yard under a small tree and decides to come and lye on the porch.

Due to the age of the house, the porch had a few nails that were protruding out of a few of the boards.  Mojo just happens to plop down on one of those protruding nails and begins to moan and groan softly.

Out comes Mr. Johnson with the lemonade and they begin to enjoy the refreshing cool drink as it soothes their parched mouths.  As they continue to talk, Mojo continues to moan and groan softly.  Paul finally can't take it anymore and asks Mr. Johnson what is wrong with Mojo?  Mr. Johnson plainly says in his humble soft southern accent - "awwe Paul, he just plopped down on a nail and it doesn't hurt bad enough for him to get up and do anything about it"

My colleague looked at me, smiled, said he understood and thanked me for my time.

So often we are faced with challenges in our life that cause us severe stress, panic, anxiety, etc...  I believe that when we hold these emotions so tightly for long periods of time, it causes/aids in the deterioration of our health and can cause momentary insanity.

Deuteronomy 31:8 - "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

These comforting words were words that Moses delivered to Joshua when it was announced that Joshua would be the successor of the aging Moses. These words are a promise and should be just as comforting to us as when they were uttered to Joshua.

Blessings,
-d